A few weeks ago I was sitting beside our youngest grandson on the glider in our backyard. We weren’t talking very much, just sitting together and enjoying the garden. Then he turned and looked up at me and with deadly seriousness he asked,
“Grandma, do you know we’re getting a divorce?”
The words cut through my heart and I fought to keep back tears. I had wondered when he would be willing to talk about it and had left the timing to him. Never did I suspect, though, that he would take ownership of it. To him this wasn’t just Mom and Dad that were splitting up, it was the whole family.
Through the years we have watched many couples change their stand on divorce and remarriage when their own children went through divorce. They always told us, “It’s different when it’s your own child.” I often wondered how it could be. Truth is truth, no matter whose marriage it is. God’s plan to be faithful “until death do us part” is His marriage covenant. We have always said we can’t control what our children do, but we can control how we react.
Knowing God’s truth about marriage and seeing His miraculous healing of so many marriage through the years makes the pain of watching our own children’s divorce even greater. Knowing that God not only can heal a marriage but wants to, makes choosing the devil’s answer even more tragic.
Seeing our children under attack also makes us twice as angry at the enemy! We are experiencing the pain that so many of you have of living in a “no fault” divorce state where the enemy can tear apart a home with no resistance, where no counseling is mandatory, and no hope is given.
Again, as I have asked so many times before, where is the Church? Why is there no battle for this family? Why is the devil’s solution seen as a Godly answer? I know you have asked these same questions in your own life. Sometimes it seems all of us are a lone voice crying out, yet it makes us more determined than ever to see the enemy lose once again. And this time for the greater glory of God!
On Chad and Cristine’s wedding day, we challenged all their bridesmaids and groomsmen (and there were 20 of them) that they had voluntarily chosen to be witnesses to their covenant. If their marriage came under attack, they needed to stand with both of them, not taking sides, but fighting for both of them and for their marriage and family. Well, that hour is here. Now is the time to surround them with prayer support and stand together with them. It is not a time to agree with one in opposition to the other. On the day they married, Chad became our son and we stand and fight the enemy for both of them, for their marriage, and for their precious children.
Our generation has seen God work miracles in family relationships. We have witnessed impossible situations changed as only God can do. Yet at the same our children’s generation has witnessed break up after break up of marriages in both the Church and the world with few people ever offering any Godly alternative. A marriage that is meant to last a lifetime is only a dream to so many! As we walk through this, may this generation also see the powerful hand of God that we have witnessed through the years!
That day in the garden when our grandson asked me that painful question, he added with hope in his voice, “But we don’t know if it’s permanent.” Amen! The faith of a little child’s heart should be what we all stand in right now. Love, Marilyn
“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.” 3 John 1:4