Q and A

Okay, I took a deep breath since yesterday. I want to make sure you understand when I talk about Christians divorcing I am not talking about those who have no choice because the law allows their spouse to divorce even if they don’t want to. I am talking about Christians who both walk away from a marriage and declare that nothing can be done. When one spouse decides to take a powerful stand in the spirit to see the marriage healed, that sends an entirely different, very healthy message. Just want to make sure that is clear.

I’d like to start answering questions today that have been submitted by followers of this blog.

Question: How did you pray while you were standing? Were you scared?

Answer: When I first began standing I was terrified. I was pregnant with our third child, our two other children were terribly wounded by what was happening, and I didn’t know of one person who had stood for their marriage. I didn’t know what the future held for us and I didn’t know what to do. I was an emotional basket case and I was filled with fear and doubt. All I knew was the Lord had told me if I was willing to stand, He would be there for me.

Our pastor says that sometimes the most effective prayer is, “Help!” That was my initial prayer. It was usually prayed as I sobbed uncontrollably, clutching my Bible, trying to figure out what to do next. The hurt was so deep and so painful and I felt so worthless and abandoned. I was not a woman of faith or courage. I vacillated between hopelessness and fury. One minute I wanted God to heal our marriage and the next I just wanted to kill the two of them. No wonder people watching me thought I should just move on with my life.

Gradually, though, the peace of the Lord began to sink into my heart. I couldn’t explain it. Nothing really had changed in the natural. If anything, things had gotten worse. Yet in the midst of all of that, the Lord began to forge within me a solid faith that He was at work. It didn’t happen overnight. Every waking moment I clung to Him. Every moment I was not taking care of children or working or completing household chores, I sat in His presence and read the Word. I was bankrupt emotionally and spiritually and being in His presence was the only place I could find peace from the storm around me. I think that gradually the peace of being with Him began to calm my heart and clear my head. Faith had been planted in my heart and was beginning to grow.

At first my prayers were very basic and very scattered. I prayed for God to take care of my children and me, I prayed for food and other necessities, and I prayed for my husband to come home. Sometimes my prayers were uttered in a moment of panic and other times they flowed in a more settled emotion. Basically, though, they were survival prayers.

As time passed and as I learned to hear the voice of the Lord more clearly, my prayers changed to praying scripture for my husband and our marriage and family. I had begun to realize that the attack on our marriage was really a demonic plan to destroy our family and home. This helped me to remember that I was not fighting flesh and blood. The Lord had begun healing my heart, so things weren’t all about me anymore. My own pain had subsided somewhat and I could focus on my husband who was caught in the enemy’s snare.

I began to realize that I was not a victim but a victor in Christ. My husband was the one who was caught in the clutches of the enemy. I was free in Christ and in Him I was more than a conqueror. As I began to get God’s perspective, I began to pull out of the focus on me and my problems and began to fight spiritual warfare on my husband’s behalf.  (2 Corinthians 10:3-5)

Eventually (after a couple years) my prayers became very focused. I would wake in the morning and ask the Lord what demons were assigned to my husband that day. The Lord would very clearly reveal to me the enemy’s plans for the day. I would then bind those spirits and declare their assignments cancelled and I would pray for Michael to recognize those areas of his life where the enemy was working.

I think the key for me was the more time I spent with the Lord, the greater the compassion that He placed in my heart for Michael. Eventually I could pray for him with the love and compassion of the Lord, not my own emotions or desires.

Everyone’s journey is unique but I would encourage you to spend every moment you can in the presence of the Lord. He will transform your heart and give you vision far beyond your own. He will also replace your hurt with a powerful love and compassion that is not limited to human love. There were many days when I did not love my husband, but the Lord never stopped loving Him. He went to the cross to see Michael set free and that love is what carried me when I had none of my own left.

So many times people say to me, ” I want to see our marriage healed. I love him (her) so much!” Believe me, human love is not enough. It will not endure the days ahead. It will not survive betrayal and rejection. The love that Jesus has, though, endures through everything. Draw on Him today. Lose yourself in Him. Rest in Him and find peace! Love, Marilyn

“But You, O Lord, are a God of compassion and gracious, longsuffering, and abundant in mercy and truth.” Psalm 86:15<

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Author: Marilyn Phillipps

Married 49 years, we have three children and six grandchildren. My initial career of nursing prepared me to work with marriages that are wounded and in need of healing. For 35 my husband and I have led 2=1 International, a ministry to marriages and families around the world. We have seen miracle after miracle when many had given up hope.

One thought on “Q and A”

  1. Thank you again so much for your blog. You really don’t know how much my relation relates to your past relation. I apologize for all the questions, I just really want to know more about to get closer to God as I stand in the gap. I also learned that we must praise/worship him, ask for forgiveness, give or will our foregiveness to those who offended us, ask Him for the Holy Spirit’s guidance and then lastly petition our prayers in faith with God’s will in mind and not our will.
    I thank you again for sharing your experiences. God had a great plan for you as I know he has a great plan for our family.

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