Does This Make Sense?

This week my husband, Michael, said something very powerful to me. We had just received an email from an apostle in the Body of Christ who is helping restore a man to ministry. This man divorced his wife and married another woman with whom he was having an affair before the divorce. Now that he’s remarried, the Church’s goal is to get this man back into ministry as soon as possible.

Michael said to me, “Isn’t it amazing. If he and his first wife had decided to stay together and get their marriage healed, he would have been removed from ministry for several years to be disciplined and rehabilitated. Since he divorced his wife, though, and married the other woman, his slate is now clean and he can get back to ministry as soon as possible.” He shook his head and added, “It just doesn’t make sense.”

How sad and how true. The Body of Christ seems very confused regarding marriage and divorce. While faith for physical healing is preached world-wide, seldom do we hear a sermon about standing for a marriage and seeing it healed. There are any number of teaching series available on DVD about faith for finances, but only a few about faith for marriage healing.

Free will is sometimes preached as stronger than the power of God in a relationship. It seems that the will of the sinner is somehow sacred and not to be opposed. It makes me wonder why we pray for someone to be saved. Maybe they don’t want to be saved. After all, they have free will. Why do we oppose it and pray that they receive the Lord? Could it be that we know that is God’s will for them? Is it not just as much God’s will for a spouse to return to his or her covenant partner?

Do you know that “free will” in the Bible only refers to an offering? Everyone’s will is aligned either with God or with the devil. No one’s will is in neutral, waiting to line up somewhere. When we are born into this world, our will is aligned with Satan. We live in our sinful nature. When we receive Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we align our will with His. Every person is in one group or the other. Why would we then not want to pray for those whose wills are aligned with the enemy?

Scripture tells us that the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds. The Contemporary English Bible says, “We live in this world, but we don’t act like its people or fight our battles with the weapons of this world. Instead, we use God’s power that can destroy fortresses. We destroy arguments and every bit of pride that keeps anyone from knowing God. We capture people’s thoughts and make them obey Christ.”

When our spouse is caught in the enemy’s trap, we stand in the gap and intercede for strongholds to fall and for our spouse to agree with God’s will. We walk in faith, seeing the unseen as more real than the seen. I remember God telling me to consider my husband a prisoner of war held in the enemy camp. I needed to intercede for him so that he might be set free from captivity and be able to make his own decision for Christ. People told me there was nothing I could do because he had a free will, but God showed me that his will was not free but was aligned with Satan. He could not fight for himself and so I needed to fight for him.

Why does the Body of Christ believe that the spouse who wants to leave the marriage has more power than the one who wants to stay? Why does the Church honor the wishes of the prodigal and ridicule the wishes of the one standing? Why is the one who dishonors his or her covenant considered more sane and more stable than the one who remains faithful to it? It is because the Church has bought the lie that divorce is the answer to a troubled marriage.

I remember years ago in Washington we heard that in 1920 a book was written in Germany by a couple of doctors that declared that the compassionate thing to do was to end a life that was substandard. From that time until World War II, doctors in Germany were indoctrinated with this philosophy so that by the time Hitler made plans to exterminate certain groups of people, all he had to do was convince the doctors that their lives were substandard. It was falsely believed that it was more compassionate to end those lives than to allow them to continue living in a painful state.

Unfortunately, the Church has received this same philosophy regarding marriage and now believes that the compassionate thing to do is end a marriage that is in trouble. Healing takes time. Healing is painful, and sometimes it seems better to end the suffering. Ending marriages that are in pain, though, only perpetuates pain. It may seem like a quick solution, but in the end the aftermath lasts for years and years. Taking the time to heal is so much better in the long run.

So why am I writing all this to you? You are standing and you believe that God wants to heal your marriage. I just want to encourage you that you are not alone and that, even though the deck seems stacked against you at times, God has given you faith and grace for this hour. Don’t be discouraged.

We sense that a new season is beginning and that many will come to understand covenant in this season. We know that before the Lord returns, His Bride must understand covenant. So stand strong and trust the Lord. Don’t try to make things happen – trust the Lord to do them. You are a true hero of the faith! Love, Marilyn

“For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height–to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.”  Ephesians 3:14-19

Author: Marilyn Phillipps

Married 49 years, we have three children and six grandchildren. My initial career of nursing prepared me to work with marriages that are wounded and in need of healing. For 35 my husband and I have led 2=1 International, a ministry to marriages and families around the world. We have seen miracle after miracle when many had given up hope.

11 thoughts on “Does This Make Sense?”

  1. Thanks for those words. Sometimes people make me feel like what I am doing is such a waste of time and I should just tell my husband and the other person off and move on with my life, but praise God for words from those who have gone through what I am going through and can testify that not only is standing the will of GOD, but it works!!

  2. Thank you so much for such encouraging words especially your closing statement “You are a true hero of faith” which lifted my heart. I stand today for the healing and restoration of my marriage, I trust my God to fully reconcile us, to birth new things into our marriage such as deep trust, respect and a Godly love.

  3. Thank You for today's message. I thought my husband & I were at the point of reconciliation in December & then mid-Jan. he dropped me like a burning coal in his hand for another affair. I refuse to give up because I know God promised me over & over we are going to be restored!! Between my husband cutting me off from most communication & ties we had, and people telling me about "his free will" and "to finally dump him"; makes me just want to Scream!! "Christians" who believe the Word, & yet say divorce is ok when the spouse is in adultery; make me so-o-o angry. So anyway, your msg. was perfect to encourage me to keep on standing!

  4. I read your First Aid booklet back in 2001 when my husband first left. All though the divorce was final 10 months later and he eventually married the other person 4 years later, I still stand strong. Thank you for the encouragement to keep standing strong even among the Christian nay sayers. God put on my heart that He would restore my marriage and family.

  5. How refreshing to hear the truth! Thank you for boldly proclaiming God’s truth regarding covenant. It is so seldom heard these days even in our churches. I also believe that before the Lord returns, His bride must understand covenant. That is why I am standing for my marriage. Thank you for your encouragement.

  6. I read your First Aid booklet back in 2001 when my husband first left. All though the divorce was final 10 months later and he eventually married the other person 4 years later, I still stand strong. Thank you for the encouragement to keep standing strong even among the Christian nay sayers. God put on my heart that He would restore my marriage and family.

  7. Thank you so much for this it came at the right time in my life, on May 17th I had other plans for the turn out of my marriage and it wasn’t good I had all but given up I have been standing for over a year now..somehow I found this sight and your First Aid Book and it related to me/us in so many ways. My life was changed that day.

    Thank you.

  8. Thank you for your encouragement. This is so true. I heard so much about my prodigal's "free will" since I started standing than a "could I pray with you". I find myself praying for others in the church also who are so convinced that I am wasting my time. I also learned to be very careful about not to share anything with anyone but God.

  9. Dear Marilyn,…I have a prayer request for our son & new wife.
    Jeff & Grace have both come out of
    a damaging trip in the world w/drugs & illicit past relationships. They vowed to do things God's way & be married, but
    there has been a great deal of trouble & conflict since they've been married. My husband even felt
    they would be better off divorcing
    after 6 months of marriage. (Even
    though he is a Christian & we've been involved w/2 of the marriage ministries classes. I so appreciate your words of Faith & Covenant. ..Amen!..May we all comprehend the meaning fully!..Thank You!…Dahn Carey

  10. I read your First Aid booklet back in 2001 when my husband first left. All though the divorce was final 10 months later and he eventually married the other person 4 years later, I still stand strong. Thank you for the encouragement to keep standing strong even among the Christian nay sayers. God put on my heart that He would restore my marriage and family.

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