Don’t Sit While You Stand

What are you doing while you are standing? What occupies your thoughts? Where do you focus your energy? Where do you find your peace and contentment?

These are important questions when we are standing. The point of standing is not to be consumed by standing. Your spouse should not be your focus. Your marriage healing should not be your focus. You should keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, the Author and Finisher of your faith.

An amazing thing happens when you focus on Jesus. You begin to build a solid, deep relationship with Him. When I first began standing, it was all about me–my pain, my rejection, my heart’s desires, etc. The more I walked with Jesus, though, the more His life became my life and His vision became my vision. The love that compels Him began to compel me. The compassion that moves Him began to move me. The desires of His heart became the desires of mine.

People who are focused solely on the healing of their marriage are hard to be around. They are like an open pit that sucks in every bit of life around them. I think we are all there at some point but that is not where we should remain. No one who is in love with Jesus and is walking closely with Him comes off as a needy person. Those who focus only on themselves are a walking mass of need. People begin to avoid them because there is no way they can possibly meet that need.

Ask yourself a question. What is the focus of your daily life? Is it calling out to Jesus to meet your need? Is it telling others how much you love your spouse and desire to have him/her with you again? It is making sure others know you are suffering? Or are you focused on Jesus? Are you at peace? Do you share with others how wonderful He is and what He has done in your life?

Scripture tells us that out of the abundance of our heart, our mouth speaks. Whatever is in your heart will come out your mouth. If you are focused on yourself and on your lack or pain or emptiness, that is what will come out of your mouth. That is where your heart is. If, though, you are focused on Jesus and His tremendous life within you, that is what will come out of your mouth. When your heart is grounded in Him, life will easily flow from your lips.

Your life should not be put on hold while you wait to receive what you are praying for. “Those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31

That is how we are to wait: actively serving our Lord, focused on Him. Look at what happens when we wait like that. We are strengthened. We do not grow weary. We mount up and fly over circumstances like the eagle.

So how are you waiting? Are you sitting and waiting or are you serving the Lord with all your heart? Are you counting the days and wondering when God is going to answer your prayers? Or are you so in love with the Lord and with walking with Him that He will be the one to tell you when your prayers are answered.

Before you can live that way, though, you must settle something in your heart. Do you have a marriage covenant that is broken only by the death of either you or your spouse? If you truly believe that, then time is not an issue. You can put away the clock and the calendar and stop wondering “when.” You can focus on Jesus and His plans for you. You can serve Him with all your heart. You can fall more deeply in love with Him with each passing day.

If, however, you have a plan B somewhere in the back of your mind, then time will be very important to you. What happens day to day with your marriage will consume you and your focus will remain on you and your needs. You will always be wondering if your marriage is really going to be healed or if you should get “on with your life”.

I want to be as blunt and honest with you as I can. When we stand we all go through a time when we are broken and crushed by the circumstances of our marriage. We all need healing in our own hearts. That is where most of us start. But that is not where we should remain. If you believe that Jesus is strong enough and powerful enough to heal your marriage, then you must also believe He is able to heal your own heart. If He is able to turn the heart of the king, then He must be able to minister to your heart and bring you to wholeness in Him.

You must become a whole person in Jesus no matter what you do with your life. Your spouse is not going to heal your heart. Your spouse cannot make you whole. Seeing your marriage healed will not bring you fulfillment. So you must stop putting all your emotional energy into your love and desire for your spouse.

If your heart is broken, you need to allow Jesus to bring you healing before anything else. Your own healing is key to your stand. Then out of your wholeness in Him, you can serve Him with all your heart. Instead of sitting while you stand, you can run and not grow weary! Love, Marilyn

“Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him;Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, Because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass.” Psalm 37:7

“Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!”  Psalm 27:14

Author: Marilyn Phillipps

Married 49 years, we have three children and six grandchildren. My initial career of nursing prepared me to work with marriages that are wounded and in need of healing. For 35 my husband and I have led 2=1 International, a ministry to marriages and families around the world. We have seen miracle after miracle when many had given up hope.

5 thoughts on “Don’t Sit While You Stand”

  1. Thanks. A very good word. I remember when my wife first left. My motivation was to get back what I had lost. I was right and she was wrong. Later it stopped being about who was right or wrong but what the Lord had in mind. It wasn’t until I began to focus on the Lord’s plan that I was able to be at peace in my stand for the restoration of my family.

  2. So were the two of you focused on the healing of your marriage thru Jesus, or were you alone focused on Jesus and then God compelled your husband to focus on Jesus too?

  3. This has really encouraged me in my stand because for along time I focused on my spouse and wondered if God was really talking to him too.God spoke to me one day that he was a stumbling block to my stand just because I needed my restoration at my own timing.Now I pray for Gods perfect time.

  4. Thank you SOOOO much for this article Marilyn! I needed this today…I focus so much on the healing of my marriage, for my husband to repent of his adultery and affairs and for our Divorce not going through…I get so overwhelmed with my circumstances and it consumes me! I know I need to focus on my Lord, my healing, and serve others while I wait…again, thank you for your words of wisdom… Thank you for being someone I can look up to!
    Lisa from Cincinnati Ohio

  5. Yes. This is exactly what I had to walk through too. I was finally able to stop focusing on the marriage being saved as the ultimate goal and instead made it my relationship with Jesus. What a difference that made! Thanks for so wonderfully sharing that vital point. =)

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