Who Is On the Throne?

Recently I have been reminded how much self is at the root of divorce. When one spouse’s self determines it is not getting what it wants, needs, and deserves, that self determines to leave the marriage and seek fulfillment elsewhere.

SELF fulfillment              SELF preservation

SELF determination         SELF actualization

When the other spouse’s self determines it doesn’t deserve to be treated that way, it seeks its own way as well.

SELF fulfillment                   SELF preservation

SELF determination              SELF actualization

Two people working hard to take care of themselves miss the bigger picture. Self is such a tiny focus, yet all other things diminish in importance when self is on the throne. Contention, division, and separation increase exponentially as self battles to have its own way.

Self first entered into marriage in the Garden of Eden after that first couple sinned and experienced separation from God. …and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings.” (Genesis 3:7) Before sinning they were covered with the glory of God, but now self took over. It is the same today. When self is on the throne, there is no room for the Lord. There is no need for the miracle power of God or holding any hope that things could change. Self is powerful, but it knows its limitations and believes no further than what it can achieve.

Amazingly, though, if only one of those people is willing to trust God and allow Him to sit on the throne in his or her life, powerful things begin to happen. First of all, He begins to heal the broken heart and reestablish worth in the soul. Not a worth brought about by ego, but a genuine worth based on the shedding of His blood and the price He paid because of His unending love.

That one person who commands self to bow down to the Lordship of Jesus Christ begins to experience the fullness of His life within. His forgiveness flows gently into the heart and soul and enables that one person to forgive and ask forgiveness. His unconditional love overcomes rejection, hurt, and the desire to get even. Slowly, but surely, His nature grows within and is reflected out from that one person who acknowledges that He is Lord of all.

Standing is not about getting what we want. It is about getting our”selves” out of the way and allowing Jesus to be Lord of our lives. He transforms us from within and His will becomes life to us. His wisdom guides decisions. He is a shield and protection when the enemy’s darts are flying. His love pours out to our wounded children and brings them life and hope as well.

It only takes one. Are you willing to be that one? Love, Marilyn

“In his self-sufficiency he will be in distress; Every hand of misery will come against him.”  Job 20:22

Author: Marilyn Phillipps

Married 49 years, we have three children and six grandchildren. My initial career of nursing prepared me to work with marriages that are wounded and in need of healing. For 35 my husband and I have led 2=1 International, a ministry to marriages and families around the world. We have seen miracle after miracle when many had given up hope.

One thought on “Who Is On the Throne?”

  1. thank you. God let me to your book 25 yrs ago, and he was faithful and restored our marriage. Here I am married now 35 years and my husband left me and chose to divorce. I am standing again…you and Michael are truly a testimony. AND an encouragement. Thanks & I pray God richly blesses you.

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