The Blender Family

Many years ago we had a ministry magazine and one month someone wrote an article on the blended family. It was a very positive, sunny article and so we were totally surprised by the outpouring of negative reaction from those who were standing for their marriage. Many couples come to us for ministry who were divorced and neither spouse stood for the marriage. They come to us with their eggs “already scrambled” so to speak and those are the couples we were thinking of when the article was written.

I have to admit I was surprised by the responses and really didn’t understand the outcry. They say you never totally understand someone until you walk a mile in their shoes and we have walked many of those miles this past year following our daughter’s divorce. It didn’t matter that she didn’t want it. It didn’t matter that their two sons didn’t want it. You know all too well how the law works. When one spouse wants out, he or she doesn’t have to justify anything. And so a whole new life experience began for all of us.

I want to start by asking your forgiveness. I know now how truly hurtful that magazine article was to so many. Please forgive us for our insensitivity to your pain. Please forgive us for not understanding the depth of ongoing chaos and helplessness that a so-called blended family creates.

For the past year we have watched as our two precious grandchildren have been required to live in two separate households on an alternating basis. We have watched the emotional scarring and the continual turmoil this arrangement is creating. We have watched the Word of God be compromised in their lives and sin celebrated. We have watched them torn between the two parents God gave them because they love them both but can’t love them together.

I have always hated divorce. It is a cancer that slowly eats away at people’s hearts and relationships. There was a song many years ago entitled Children are the Broken Pieces when a Marriage Falls Apart. What a sad but true statement! I didn’t think it was possible, but this past year I have grown to hate divorce more than ever. And I have become more determined to see hearts healed and made whole again!

I was preparing dinner the other night and as I got the blender out of the cupboard its name really struck me. Blender. As I watched the ingredients chop and swirl together, I realized what blended really means. And I realized it is a terrible thing to do to a family.

So today my heart is with each and every one of you who has had to share your children or your grandchildren with an ungodly family situation. I now understand the challenges it brings. Yet it has made me more determined that ever to stand on God’s Word for our daughter and her family. What the enemy meant for harm in her life and the lives of those little one’s we are trusting the Lord to turn to good.

Our prayers are with you today. What a blessing it is for your family that you have chosen to stand against the enemy’s attack and hold fast to the Word of God and the vows you have taken! Our children and our grandchildren belong to Him and we must trust that as we pray and stand, He will care for their souls even in the most difficult situations.

Let us agree today for God’s plan for each one of them! Moses grew up in Pharaoh’s house and yet fulfilled the call of God on his life. Joseph was sold into slavery by his own brothers, but became the mighty man that God had called him to be. Scripture gives us so many examples of God’s plan coming through in so many lives that faced challenges. Let us hold fast to His Word and His promises for the children we love who are being blended. Love, Marilyn

“But Jesus called them to Him and said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God.” Luke 18:16

Author: Marilyn Phillipps

Married 49 years, we have three children and six grandchildren. My initial career of nursing prepared me to work with marriages that are wounded and in need of healing. For 35 my husband and I have led 2=1 International, a ministry to marriages and families around the world. We have seen miracle after miracle when many had given up hope. View all posts by Marilyn Phillipps