The Blender Family

Many years ago we had a ministry magazine and one month someone wrote an article on the blended family. It was a very positive, sunny article and so we were totally surprised by the outpouring of negative reaction from those who were standing for their marriage. Many couples come to us for ministry who were divorced and neither spouse stood for the marriage. They come to us with their eggs “already scrambled” so to speak and those are the couples we were thinking of when the article was written.

I have to admit I was surprised by the responses and really didn’t understand the outcry. They say you never totally understand someone until you walk a mile in their shoes and we have walked many of those miles this past year following our daughter’s divorce. It didn’t matter that she didn’t want it. It didn’t matter that their two sons didn’t want it. You know all too well how the law works. When one spouse wants out, he or she doesn’t have to justify anything. And so a whole new life experience began for all of us.

I want to start by asking your forgiveness. I know now how truly hurtful that magazine article was to so many. Please forgive us for our insensitivity to your pain. Please forgive us for not understanding the depth of ongoing chaos and helplessness that a so-called blended family creates.

For the past year we have watched as our two precious grandchildren have been required to live in two separate households on an alternating basis. We have watched the emotional scarring and the continual turmoil this arrangement is creating. We have watched the Word of God be compromised in their lives and sin celebrated. We have watched them torn between the two parents God gave them because they love them both but can’t love them together.

I have always hated divorce. It is a cancer that slowly eats away at people’s hearts and relationships. There was a song many years ago entitled Children are the Broken Pieces when a Marriage Falls Apart. What a sad but true statement! I didn’t think it was possible, but this past year I have grown to hate divorce more than ever. And I have become more determined to see hearts healed and made whole again!

I was preparing dinner the other night and as I got the blender out of the cupboard its name really struck me. Blender. As I watched the ingredients chop and swirl together, I realized what blended really means. And I realized it is a terrible thing to do to a family.

So today my heart is with each and every one of you who has had to share your children or your grandchildren with an ungodly family situation. I now understand the challenges it brings. Yet it has made me more determined that ever to stand on God’s Word for our daughter and her family. What the enemy meant for harm in her life and the lives of those little one’s we are trusting the Lord to turn to good.

Our prayers are with you today. What a blessing it is for your family that you have chosen to stand against the enemy’s attack and hold fast to the Word of God and the vows you have taken! Our children and our grandchildren belong to Him and we must trust that as we pray and stand, He will care for their souls even in the most difficult situations.

Let us agree today for God’s plan for each one of them! Moses grew up in Pharaoh’s house and yet fulfilled the call of God on his life. Joseph was sold into slavery by his own brothers, but became the mighty man that God had called him to be. Scripture gives us so many examples of God’s plan coming through in so many lives that faced challenges. Let us hold fast to His Word and His promises for the children we love who are being blended. Love, Marilyn

“But Jesus called them to Him and said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God.” Luke 18:16

The Children

Walking through these past months with our daughter’s divorce, we have once again been reminded of the toll divorce takes on children. Our constant prayer is that our grandsons will walk ever closer with the Lord and will come through this time of their life stronger in Him.

Through the years we have watched so many men and women standing for their marriage who have had to endure painful situations regarding their children. Our own children were wounded deeply when the enemy attacked our marriage. Many of those wounds took years to heal, so we know the pain that a divided home brings. The song Broken Pieces by Steve and Annie Chapman says it all.

We know that the enemy is after those young hearts and that circumstances can become very dark. We have once again been convinced, though, that just as with standing, one parent can bring peace and stability into their lives in the midst of the storm.

Some standers deal with the total rejection of their children by their spouse. Others deal with sharing the children between them. Both situations have blessings and challenges. Whatever your situation, remember that you have authority over the enemy who is fighting to destroy your marriage and family. If you walk in a place of peace and joy in the midst of the storm, your children will be blessed by that too.

I remember one time during my stand that I prayed and gave my children to the Lord. I then saw a vision of Him standing there with His arms around them. What a blessing it was to see them in His care. Suddenly, though, He turned and began to walk away with them. “Where are you going with my children?” I asked Him.

He turned to me and said, “I thought you gave them to Me. If that is true, I can take them where I wish.

I realized that I wanted the Lord’s protection over my children, but I wanted control over where they went and what happened in their lives. It became very clear to me that day that if I were going to trust Jesus to care for them, I had to let go of my hold on them and trust that He would care for them no matter where they were or what they faced.

Children’s spirits are not small. Their spirit man is “full grown” and can receive from the Lord the same as any adult. In fact, in many cases children can receive even more because they don’t have as many mental barriers as adults do.

The Lord is reminding me again of all that He shared with me as I pray for my grandchildren. No matter what they face, I must trust the Lord to keep his hand upon their hearts and their minds. They are His and He can care for them better than anyone else. May they learn to be strong warriors in His army during this time of training! Love, Marilyn

“But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 19:14